I am a bit tired of always being too tired to blog. I find I enjoy reading my past blogs/thoughts – and while I have little doubt they are of little value to anyone else, I find a bit of relief and refreshment when I read my thoughts from times gone by.
And I am really grateful for the few blogs I did through dad’s demise. It helps me remember what otherwise would have been lost.
So with that in mind, I start again.
For those keeping track with me – I lost 20 pounds. A huge feat for me, as I have not been at this weight (except for one brief time 6 years ago) since high school. Somehow, I just got tired of eating, and tired of watching America gorge itself on its excesses – and I don’t just mean food. Lifestyle change – long desired, finally here. But alas, I have lost that disengagement, so eating has returned to being an enjoyment. Fortunately, I have discovered, as my girlfriend tells me, that nothing tastes as good as thin feels, so think I shall keep my vessel at this weight. Just feels too good not to do this.
Onward to more enjoyable topics: I am knitting and sewing now. My girlfriend, Carol, shakes her head in disbelief. She is already disgusted with me because I quit drinking (all my girlfriends say I am no fun anymore), but a world traveler and one who can’t sit still, she doesn’t udnerstand the pleasure I get from making something for someone, and giving it to them. I love to bake, too, but sadly, I have no will power when it comes to white sugar! So I bake on occassion, and busy myself with knitting and sewing projects in the meantime.
Which leads me to my new machine, and tonight’s late night foray into the world of embroidery. Quattro 6700 D. I fell like the Christmas Carol story of the little boy and his BB gun. My sewing machine. It seems simple and straightforward enough, but my dear friend, it is not. I had visions of decorating my Easter Brunch table with embroidered napkins – I think I have to let that one slip by the wayside. Not that I won’t do it in the future, but this is not an art you just turn a machine on, and it does it. No, I have a new-found appreciation for experience in this art, and since I am lacking said experience, I will need to put the time in, learn from my mistakes, and THEN I can decorate my table with embroidered napkins. (but by then I will probably be giving this art away, too).
I miss wood carving. I did that years ago with my good friend Barbie. Actually, I miss Barbie too. She’s still with us, but I moved, and she didn’t.
Which reminds me – note to self – this is a time when we are losing more friends, which is causing us to cling even tighter to each other. First Diane, then Bob, and in between, Kim, and right behind Bob, was Dennis. Now Richard is diagnosed with cancer, first just in lungs, but now discovered in colon and brain. All of this in a relatively short period of time. No one said getting old was easy, but I never thought about the sadness of watching friends pass, and even greater sadness in watching friends lose their beloved partners.
All of the above has me yearning for more time – time to spend with my son, my grandchildren, my husband. Heck, time to spend with me. I am tired of getting up at 3:30 so I can squeeze my gym time in to my day. I am tired of coming home at 5, and having just 3 short hours before I have to hit the sack. I guess I am just plain old tired of schedules. I want life on my time, on my terms. Is that too much to ask?
Which also reminds me, we saw some old friends when we were at Dennis’ funeral. Mike dropped out and dropped back in years ago – I suspect he is one person who is living life happily ever after, albeit simply, but really living. Actually, my son is living his life on his terms. To my chagrin, of course, as I want grandchildren, and he isn’t even dating. Ok, too much information here, and i remind myself this is a public blog, and there are kooks out there.
Oh – and before I wrap up – I am in my third acting class. I thought I was finished with it, but another girlfriend ( a new one who I like a lot, and think I will like even more once i get to know her better) emailed and said “let’s sign up together”, and we shook on it and said “deal”. Long story short – she didn’t get in to the class! I thought about, and am still thinking about, giving her my spot becuase I don’t really have the time for it – we’ll see.
That’s it for now, except one last sentence to say I do not care for arrogant people, and that is code-speak for me, and when I read that years from now, I will know instantly what I am referring to. Hugs.